


Hogwarts group chat

by Serendipitous_dreamer42633



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Modern Day, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:15:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29735139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serendipitous_dreamer42633/pseuds/Serendipitous_dreamer42633
Summary: Random fic trying to be humorous. If Hogwarts had mobile phones.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Hogwarts profs chat:**

**Argus Filtch:** Student out of bed! 

Albus Dumbledore’s phone vibrated.

He sighed. Ever since the hogwarts professors had invested In modern muggle technology, his phone had been constantly pinging with text alerts. He was reminded every ten seconds what a mistake it had been. It was 1.00am. He didn’t really want to know that a student was out of bed. Quite frankly, he didn’t care. He wasn’t even sure what had made him think this was a good idea. He texted back;

**Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore:** no one cares cat-fucker its 1am. Deal with it.

He turned off his phone and rolled over. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Hogwarts school chat:**

**Meow McGonagall:** just a reminder all students must be attending classes

**Meow mcgonagall:** that means all 6th years

**Meow McGonagall:** I see you Mr Potter and Ronald Weasley

**Meow McGonagall:** go to potions

**Snakey Snape:** 10 housepoints taken from Gryffindor

**Meow McGonagall:** damnit Potter do you want to win this cup or not

**Boywholives** : I’ll get @PROF_LUPIN to transfer me some housepoints

**Snakey Snape:** he doesn’t even teach here anymore

**Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore:** Snape stop being such a killjoy no one likes you

_Snakey Snape left the chat_

**Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore:** sore loser 


	3. Chapter 3

**Hogwarts prof chat:**

**Snakey Snape:** Who gave me a zero on Rate My Professor...?

**Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore:** that would be me

_Snakey Snape changed the chat name to: fuck Dumbledore_

_Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore changed the chat name to: Shitey Snape_

**Snakey Snape:** rude

**Meow McGonagall:** can we all grow up and focus on what actually matters - who’s crushing on who...? I have my bets with Harry and Cho Chang

**Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore:** stop sinking my Harry and Hermione ship I’ve had my bets on them since first year

**Swish and Flitwick:** OKAY SO WHERE DID GINNY WEASLEY COME FROM


	4. Chapter 4

**Hogwarts prof chat:**

_Snakey Snape added Top bitch to the chat_

**Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore:** who the hell is top bitch Snape?

**Top bitch:** umbridge here! ;)

**Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore** : you added that little shit to the chat?!

**Meow McGonagall:** delete her


	5. Chapter 5

**Hogwarts school chat:**

**Boywholives:** anyone wanna hang by the lake W me? Requesting hot people only 

**Trevor’s_my_toad:** I’ll come, I’m studying the plant species there in herbology 

**Boywholives** : Neville I believe I said hot people

**Boywholives** : requesting hot single girls

**GinervaWeasley:** I’ll be there ;) 

**Boywholives:** I repeat; hot people 

**GinervaWeasley:** I’ll go skinny dipping 

**Boywholives:** okay I’m in you had me at naked 

**Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore:** see you there gals ;)

**Boywholives:** wtf don’t crash my party you old dude 


	6. Chapter 6

** Hogwarts school chat: **

**GinervaWeasley** : hey Harry

**GinervaWeasley** : hey harry 

**GinervaWeasley** : Harry

**GinervaWeasley** : HARRY

**GinervaWeasley** : HARRY YOU LIL SHIT

**Boywholives** : omg WHAT GINNY FFS IM BUSY

**GinervaWeasley** : heyyyyyyyy ur hottie

**Boywholives** : Ron tell your sister to stop being so annoying like I know I’m hot right 

**Gingersidekick** : GINNY SHUT UP

**GinervaWeasley** : ;(

**Boywholives** : thanks imma go flirt w cho Chang

**CedricHuff** : I don’t FIND that a good thing to say hands off

**Boywholives** : let cho decide for herself Jee

**Chochang** : sorry Harry but if Cedric magiCally dies I’ll date you

**Boywholives** : okay cool I’m sure that could b arranged I’ll hit up the Dark Lord


	7. Chapter 7

**Hogwarts school chat:**

**Meow McGonagall:** I award Mr Harry Potter 10 rubber ducks 

**Boywholives:** rubber ducks...??

**Meow McGonagall:** I mean 10 rubber ducks 

**Meow McGonagall** : rubber ducks 

**Meow McGonagall:** goddamn rubber ducks 

**Meow McGonagall:** RUBBER DUCKS

**Meow McGonagall:** FUCK!

**Meow McGonagall:** I give up

**Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore:** I may have been tinkering with your autocorrect of house points to a certain squeaky yellow muggle Bath toy

**Albus Wilfred Percival swagger dumbledore:** the faithful and innocent rubber duck

**Meow McGonagall:** you are the worst


End file.
